Vickey Pahnke Taylor spoke to women and young women on Tuesday morning, Aug. 16, during Campus Education Week at BYU.
She spoke to women to remind them to not be so harsh on themselves, to take some personal time and learn to live guiltlessly.
"We all have our hard times, which is something that can connect us as women," Sister Taylor said. "We should be kind to everybody because everybody is fighting some kind of battle."
She explained that there are two kinds of guilt. "Good guilt" that encourages them to repent, and bad guilt that drags them down for no good reason. T
She likened guilt to that of feeling like a slave to something, and how women try to hide what they've done so nobody will know.
"Jesus Christ has been standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. e's wondering how long you're going to let the enemy make a slave out of you."
She encouraged women to "lean on Christ" and know that He will help them in all of their trials and afflictions. She reminded the women that they can go to Him with stress and guilt and He will lift them up and make their burdens light.
She told the sisters to let go of their "micro-management" in the family and all that they do. She said it is important to remember that the sisters taught their children well and the Lord is watching over their children, just as He is watching over them.
Sister Taylor told the women to forget about trying to become "Wonder Woman" and instead focus on the good that they do every day, and also to remember that it's OK to say "no." She said they need to allow time for personal needs, and don't need to be doing everything to be the perfect super-hero mom.
"We don't spend enough time learning who we are," Sister Taylor said. "We need to get to know who we are and what we are about. Instead of being guilty, we can see our weaknesses given to us to make us humble — so we can learn."
She encouraged the women to engage in acts of service because through them they can be "the Lord's grace." However, if women are caught up in their own guilt, how can they be helping others and lifting those in need? Nevertheless, they should not let things cloud up the time so much, as to not work on their own needs.
Sister Taylor said, "You must fill up your own cup, before it can spill over to other's cups."
She ended by reminding the women that all the work and stress, and trials that they are to face in this life will all be for their good and will help them learn and grow as women.
She said, "It's not fun and it's not easy — it's like going through a grinder. It hurts and it's hard sometimes but it refines us and helps us become better and stronger."