In a letter to the youth of the Church, the First Presidency has said, "We want you to know that we love you. We have great confidence in you. Because of that, we talk to you frankly and honestly.
"We desire everything in this world for you that is right and good. You are not just ordinary young men and women. You are choice spirits who have been held in reserve to come forth in this day when the temptations, responsibilities, and opportunities are the very greatest. You are at a critical time in your lives. This is the time for you to live righteously, but also to set an example for your peers. As you seek to live the standards of the Church, you will be able to reach out and lift and build your brothers and sisters." (For the Strength of Youth, p.3.)With these inspired words of love and counsel, may I share some feelings relative to the example you are to your friends and those that know you as a Latter-day Saint. As you live the standards you will "lift and build" those with whom you associate.
The second standard discussed in For the Strength of Youth is "Dress and Appearance." In today's world, much emphasis is given to our dress and appearance. Unfortunately, some of the standards set by the world of fashion are totally out of harmony with the standards set by the Lord. It seems that some fashion designers feel that the more exposure given either by the lack of clothing or by the tightness of the fit, the shortness of the skirt, shirt, dress or shorts, the more appealing. How untrue that message is.
Several weeks ago, a beautiful young 16-year old visited with me after a fireside. I was very impressed with her appearance and her dress. She shared with me briefly her experience of having waited to date until age 16, and then her disappointment that no one invited her on a date.
In her words, she felt "unattractive, unwanted and unloved." She had waited so long for the "big birthday number 16," but finally arriving, it was a total disappointment. She saw others who seemed to attract young men and were always, "having fun," as she supposed. Over several weeks, she decided that perhaps a shorter skirt and tighter "Levis" might help her situation, so she did what so many others do and shortened a skirt to see if she would attract attention. Her statement to me was interesting. She said, " I did get attention, but I finally felt so cheap and so self-conscious that I could hardly wait to get home and change back to the person I wanted to be."
Though it is sometimes less noticeable at first, young men also often dress in a certain way to attract attention. Acceptance and belonging are conditions that everyone enjoys, if we are honest with ourselves.
Often, young men of today, in an effort to "belong" in a setting that may at first appear attractive, experiment with dress and grooming styles that make a loud, negative statement. The world would tell you that tight jeans, top three shirt buttons open, three days' beard growth, the longish, wet-look hairstyle and a pierced ear sets you apart as "trendy." If you could see yourself as others see you, however, you would know that the standards of the world do very little to enhance the image of Latter-day Saints.
This doesn't mean that your only style should be a dress shirt and tie, however appropriate this is for Sunday dress. It also doesn't mean that you can't wear clothes and adopt grooming standards that are popular and very acceptable in your school, neighborhood or group. What we hope young men will achieve in their dress and grooming, however, is an expression of the clean, wholesome approach. Because everyone is different, you can be different from others without expressing extreme styles. You can dress casually, comfortably and modestly without losing your identity and your individuality. And you will probably do it for a lot less money.
". . . The way you dress sends messages about yourselves to others and often influences the way you and others act. . . ." (For the Strength of Youth, p.8). Don't be unwise and dress to get attention. Usually, you will attract those from whom you would prefer not to have attention.
How pleased I was to hear the young woman referred to earlier say that she knew her Heavenly Father loved her and that if she lived the standards given to us by the Lord she would find fulfillment in her life that would be enduring. Young men and young women can and should begin now to adopt a standard of dress and grooming that makes a statement about the kind of strong, decisive and clear-thinking individual that we know All of us encourage you wonderful young people to dress in such a way to bring out the best in yourselves and those around you.
The counsel given in the booklet For the Strength of Youth is some of the best advice you can get regarding how to avoid extremes in clothing and appearance. Those extremes include "short-shorts, tight pants, and other revealing attire. Young women should refrain from wearing off-the-shoulder, low-cut, or revealing clothes. Young Men should similarly maintain modesty in their dress. All should avoid tight fitting or revealing clothes and extremes in clothing and appearance." (FSY, p.8.)
If you don't have a copy of the booklet, ask your parents or bishop about it. Take time to read it and become familiar with the concepts it outlines. It's not "preachy" or "stuffy." It's just a simple and straightforward guide to the kind of style that Heavenly Father wants all of us to adopt. It's written in language you'll understand and can be read in a few minutes.
Dear young friends, we love you. We want you to be yourself - your better self. We know that you are bombarded every day in your schools, in your neighborhoods, in your workplaces and by television, movies, radio and videos relative to the things of the world. But we also know that you are bright, capable young men and women who are being prepared to lead out in the home, Church, government, industry, medicine, education, and thousands of skilled jobs and trades that will make the world a better place in which to live.
Prepare for those opportunities now by learning that how you dress and how you appear to others will make a tremendous difference in who you are, who you are to become, and what you can accomplish in life. God bless you to make wise and correct choices about dress and appearance that will set you on the course of a happy, fulfilled and rewarding lifestyle.
Next, Friendshipping.
(ADDITIONAL INFORMATION)
Points to Remember
Dress modestly to show respect for God and yourself.
Avoid extremes in your clothing and appearance.
Dress appropriately for all Church meetings and activities.
About the author
Elder Jack H. Goaslind, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy, is general president of the Young Men, which includes more than 500,000 young men in the Church. He has served as a General Authority since September 1978. He is also a counselor in the North America West Area Presidency, assisting with ecclesiastical responsibilities for California and Hawaii.
He has served as a member of the Presidency of the Seventy, and has recently returned from serving as area president in the United Kingdom/Ireland/Africa Area.
Previously, he served as a regional representative, mission president, stake president and twice as bishop. A native of Salt Lake City, he is a graduate of the University of Utah. He is married to the former Gwen Caroline Bradford and they are the parents of three sons and three daughters, and they have 16 grandchildren.
