Through Christ's atoning sacrifice comes the healing balm that allows a person the power to forgive - to have charity, compassion, benevolence and feel of Christ's unconditional love, said panelists participating in a discussion on "Forgiveness: The Process of Healing."
Each panelist brought to the discussion a different perspective to forgiveness and healing.Carol E. Tuttle, a survivor of incest, remarked: "Forgiving someone of sexually abusing you as a child cannot be compared to most other experiences of forgiveness. It is much more ambiguous and obscure. The abuse can affect an individual's entire life experience and requires a lengthy recovery process.
"The way the atonement blesses us is to sweeten the bitterness of life with the grace and the power to become like Jesus Christ," she said.
"I have learned that my righteousness had nothing to do with the abuse I suffered as a child, and that righteousness is not an absence of adversity."
Wendie Nilson shared the tragedy of divorce that affected her life and the lives of her children. The scriptures say to forgive all men, "but what if the pain and hurt are of such an intensity that even the idea of forgiving is unthinkable, intolerable, outrageous?" she asked.
"My pain was so deep that even the suggestion of attempting to forgive him was out of the question."
But she began to realize that bitterness and fear began to canker her soul, Sister Nilson explained, and that began the healing process.
"It is my great hope . . . that one day all traces of a once raw and festering wound will disappear."
Carol L. Clark, panel moderator, shared her experience of being embroiled in a law suit and feeling a genuine hatred for the man who brought about the suit.
Five points helped her through the process of forgiveness, she said.
Prayer
Setting goals
Studying scriptures
Accepting support
Being steadfast
"This process of forgiveness is a softening thing," Sister Clark remarked. "It requires a humility that is rare. It requires us to really try to embody the attributes of charity, to try to really get that pure love of Christ."
Panelist Midge Patrick spoke about her family's involvement in a catastrophic automobile accident that killed her husband and son, left her a quadriplegic and seriously injured seven of her other children.
"I had to cope with forgiving myself," she remarked, "but I really didn't have a problem with this because I felt the Lord's arms around me many times.
"I don't hold the Lord accountable and I don't hold myself accountable. We are all victims of natural consequences."
Sister Patrick concluded: "When you do not forgive, you place a handicap on your spirit. And because your spirit has a handicap, there's an open sore and it's vulnerable to other problems."
