I have been a member of the Church for about 35 years. Missionaries came to our door in Vancouver, British Columbia, in the late 1950s. At the time, my husband and I had three children. We were baptized and went to Church regularly. I loved the people, but I did not have a solid testimony of the restored gospel.
Then in 1981, we were watching general conference on television. After President Spencer W. Kimball spoke, I went to my bedroom and sat down on my bed, wondering about the truthfulness of the gospel and the Prophet Joseph Smith. I always believed in prayer as I had been brought up in a Christian home. I knelt down and, remembering the Lord's promise that when we ask we will receive, I asked the Lord if the Church was His Church and was the prophet a true prophet.I waited for the answer, but no answer came. I was very upset and desperate for an answer. Again, I asked the Lord as tears streamed down my face, but still I did not receive an answer. I gave up and joined my family to watch the conclusion of conference.
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir was singing, but I did not hear the words. As I was sitting there a warm feeling filled my body. I felt a prompting that "all is well." Again, the tears flowed freely, but this time because I knew my prayers were answered.
A year later, we moved to Peace River, Alberta. Three of my five children were grown and married, and I felt lonely for them and their families. Because of a letter I received from a family member who was very much against the Church, I again doubted the gospel. I felt a darkness enfold me. I was desperately unhappy.
I wrote to my son, Paul, who was on a mission at the time. He wrote back: "Mom, you are far from all your friends and children, and Satan is using this to weaken your testimony. Lean on mine until yours is strong again."
I knew what I had to do. I knelt down and asked the Lord to forgive me. It was as if the sun broke through at that moment. I felt that same warm feeling I had felt before. I will never again doubt the truthfulness of the gospel or the Prophet Joseph Smith.
