Reaching out to the lonely is an important part of the Christmas season, but there are a few things to remember:
Don't have preconceived notions of what "lonely" is. "Alone" doesn't always mean "lonely." The loneliest people at Christmas can be those who are surrounded by others. Awareness of individual circumstances is essential in determining who is lonely.- Invite people who are comfortable with your family. People can feel uncomfortable among strangers, especially if they know and are comfortable with each other.
Consider asking the guest over for a specific activity or time period, such as Christmas dinner or Christmas Eve, instead of an invitation for the whole day. The guest could feel like a burden or an intruder.
Allow the invitee the option of refusing your invitation gracefully. Insisting that they come because it's Christmas and you don't want them to be lonely could cause resentment.
Remember that Christmas day isn't the only time to reach out to the lonely. There are 364 other days in the year when the lonely are lonely still. The Christmas spirit is the spirit of the gospel, and the gospel season is never past. - Jeanne St. Christian, Louisville, Colo.
What we did:
Someone cares
This is very important not only at the Christmas season, but also all year long. We, as a family, always take another family that might not have much for Christmas, and we share our Christmas with them. This may include inviting them to dinner or fixing a Christmas dinner box for them if we are not going to be around at Christmas. We make or buy a present for them and sometimes we just leave it where they don't know who gave it to them. But they know that someone cares. This has been a real joy for my family, and I think it helps them learn the real meaning of Christmas. - Fenessa Little, Clinton, Iowa
Reach out
Several years ago while enjoying the First Presidency's Christmas devotional I felt inspired to reach out to someone during this time. My thoughts turned immediately to a young single sister I had observed coming to Church alone. The next Sunday I invited her to sit with me. She seemed pleased and sat by me every Sunday for a few weeks. She then moved away and I soon forgot this incident.
Several years later, I hired an employee who said she thought she had met me before. Several weeks after I hired her, I was surprised one Sunday to see her at Church. I sat down beside her and welcomed her to Church. She explained that she had been a member of the Church most of her life, but she had not been to Church in quite awhile. She had been to a social gathering for my staff at my house. There she had seen pictures of temples and Christ on our walls and she realized that I was a Mormon. She then remembered why I seemed familiar to her. I was the sister who several years ago had invited her to sit with my family. - Patsy Dunn, Prineville, Ore.
`Adopted' others
Over the years we have "adopted" grandmas who are alone. While the children were still young, they called these dear ladies "Grandma B," "Grandma Iris" and so forth. Over the years we have done things, such as having our teenage sons act as escorts in picking these ladies up and bringing them to our house for a homemade Christmas feast, candle lights and all. We watch one of the old-time video favorites from their younger years and give them gifts that they can't usually afford to buy themselves, such as scarves, gloves, books, etc.
We always make a point to stop in the midst of our Christmas Day hubbub and go visit them. They usually offer a cup of their favorite eggnog or some chocolates that they saved for a special occasion because that makes them feel good to give back. - Barbara K. Dutson, West Jordan, Utah
`Christmas cans'
A few years ago, our branch Primary made "Christmas cans" and delivered them to a group home near our Church building and to children at a daycare. What are "Christmas cans?"
First, we took an assortment of different size soup cans, washed them and removed the labels.
Second, we spray-painted the cans in red, green, blue and white.
Third, the Primary children used sponges cut out as Christmas trees, stars, bells, etc., and designed the cans with paint.
Finally, after the cans dried, we filled them with Christmas goodies and other stocking stuffers.
This was a great experience and act of service those Primary children will never forget. - Lora Kruckenberg, Wahpeton, N.C.
Decorate their homes
You could visit with them often. Help them with chores around their house. You could maybe help them decorate their houses to get them in the holiday spirit. Bake them cookies or a cake, send them a card or get a little gift. You could also help them put a tree up. Or just spend some time talking and visiting with them. - Mary Owen, Elfrida, Ariz.
Beyond own family
I remember as a child a special lady who became an integral part of our family. She and her husband had no children of their own, so she came to be our "Grandma Martha." After the death of her husband, she began coming to dinner on Sundays and she participated in our family Christmas party. Our lives were greatly blessed by her presence, and we learned that love could reach beyond the boundaries of our own family.
Here are a couple of other ideas:
Use family home evening as a night to make homemade Christmas decorations. Take them to a hospital or nursing home and use them to decorate the doors of the patients or residents.
Take your family portrayal of the Nativity to a nursing home. - Michele B. Griffeth, Preston, Idaho
Make gifts
The ways to reach out to these individuals during Christmas are:
Make gifts, such as quilts and toys. Take these gifts to the local battered women's shelter.
Perform arts, such as singing, skits and plays.
Feed the homeless; volunteer at a shelter.
Do your home/visiting teaching.
Visit a convalescent home.
Visit the elderly; telephoning them if they live too far away.
Offer free baby-sitting to young couples so they can attend Church sponsored firesides and make friends. - Lafayette Ward, Oakland California Stake, teachers quorum
How to checklist:
1 Determine who is lonely; be aware of circumstances.
2 Include them in family activities; give your time, attention.
3 Visit them; take them goodies, help them decorate.
4 Remember, reaching out is something to do all year.
WRITE TO US:
Dec. 21 "How to be more Christ-centered in our relationships with others."
Dec. 28 "How to maintain hope in the midst of affliction."
Jan. 4 "How to apply in one's life the legacy of faith as found in the Doctrine and Covenants and Church history."
Jan. 11 "How to enjoy the blessings of the priesthood without a worthy priesthood holder in the home."
Jan. 18 "How to discipline your children in a positive manner."
Jan. 25 "How to magnify your Church calling."
Feb. 1 "How to make your spouse a priority despite a busy family life."
Also interested in letters on these topics: "How to be more patient with your children," "How to foster positive communication in your family."
Had any good experiences or practical success in any of the above subjects? Share them with our readers in about 100-150 words. Write the "How-to" editor, Church News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, Utah 84110, send fax to (801) 237-2121 or use internet E-mail: Churchnews@desnews.com. Please include a name and phone number. Contributions may be edited or excerpted and will not be returned. Due to limited space, some contributions may not be used; those used should not be regarded as official Church doctrine or policy. Material must be received at least 12 days before publication date.
