Holly Ridenour was not seeking acclaim when she was chosen "Mother of the Year." And she certainly was not looking for attention when she turned down the honor because the Sunday awards ceremony conflicted with her attendance at sacrament meeting.
But her adherence to ideals has drawn the admiration of people nationwide.Sister Ridenour, mother of seven and a Relief Society visiting teaching coordinator in the Waukesha Ward, Milwaukee Wisconsin Stake, was widowed in May when her husband, Frank, died of brain cancer. His death occurred two days after the wedding of their eldest son, Shawn.
Some months later, daughter Whitney, 16, heard of the award in connection with Women's Expo in Milwaukee, put on by Minnesota-based Expositions Inc.
Without her mother's knowledge, Whitney submitted a nomination profiling Sister Ridenour's qualities and dedication in the face of adversity during the previous year.
"They narrowed the field down to two people," recalled Sister Ridenour when contacted by the Church News. "I went to a TV station to be interviewed by the sponsoring organization. They ran through a whole gamut of questions, then called back some days later and told me I'd won."
The hitch was that the televised award ceremony would be on Sunday afternoon, Sept. 28, at the same time as services in the Ridenours' ward. As a condition for receiving the award, she would have to appear on the program.
"I originally thought about going ahead and doing it," she recounted. "They told me I had to give an acceptance speech, but I couldn't come up with anything to say. I thought, `Something's wrong; it's time to start praying.' "
She also turned to the scriptures, where she noticed two passages in particular: "The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility," (Prov. 15:33) and "How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?" (John 5:44.)
"Well, it was pretty clear cut the Lord was telling me this [accepting the award] was not what I needed to do," she said.
Before Frank's death, she had promised she would do everything she could to keep the children active in the Church. He had given her a ring bearing the inscription, "Return with Honor."
"There are so many things you can read into that," she said. "To me it meant I can't return with honor if I'm not where I'm supposed to be."
She explained her decision to all seven children, including the two married ones, and they all supported her position. Then she called the contest officials and left a telephone message declining the honor. They called back the next day, surprised at her decision, but willing to accept it. The award was given instead to the runner-up. As for Sister Ridenour, she attended fast and testimony meeting, enjoying it more than usual.
The following day, Sister Ridenour received a telephone call from a reporter for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel asking about the episode. She related it to him, not fully realizing until the end of the conversation that her comments were being taken down for inclusion in a newspaper story.
She stopped at a convenience store the next morning on her way to work to buy a copy of the newspaper. She hastily searched through it looking for her name. Finally, on an inside page, she noticed a continuation from a story that began on page 1. To her surprise, her story had made the front page with the headline, "Already a winner; Mom rejects honor to attend church with kids."
It was picked up by a news wire service, and her fame spread. Letters to the editor lauded her integrity. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the popular radio talk show host, related the story on her national program. Sister Ridenour received letters from relatives, friends and strangers around the country.
At stake conference, her experience came up in a talk given by one of the speakers.
"When is this going to die?" she thought. "I did not do this to gain attention. I was just doing what I felt was right, and to keep a promise to my husband."
When another television station called her asking for an interview, she declined, anxious to avoid offending the mother who had received the award in her place. "She is a single mother also, raising two kids, one with disabilities, and she is doing a wonderful job," she said. "Let her take the honor; I don't need it."
Then, repeating a statement attributed to her in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel article, she declared, "My kids are my trophies."
