In response to the proliferation of "corrosive elements targeted to injure our youth," the First Presidency recently renewed its counsel to parents "to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles.
"The home is the basis of a righteous life," said the First Presidency letter that was read by bishoprics from the pulpit in February and is to be delivered to members by home teachers. "No other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility.
"We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction and wholesome family activities," the letter continued.
The First Presidency's letter re-emphasizes the influence and responsibility of parents in shaping the personality and behavior of their children. Such is self-evident among many parents and has been the order of rearing families in the Church for generations.
Yet, the influence of parents on their children, particularly teens, was recently challenged by a writer of a popular child development book who questioned whether parents matter in the rearing of children.The writer contends that peers — and not parents — are the compelling influence shaping youth.
But a five-year study completed in 1997 by two professors from Brigham Young University shows that while peers have great influence, parents do have influence on their teenage children.
The study was conducted by Dr. Bruce Chadwick, professor of sociology and past director of BYU's Center for Studies of the Family, and Dr. Brent Top, associate dean of religious education and professor of Church history and doctrine.
The information from this survey updates a similar BYU survey conducted in 1975 and is the most recent data gathered by BYU detailing the influences assaulting the youth of today. It is also the basis for material used in a recently released book.
Parental influence
These are trying times for the youth of the Church and for their parents and leaders, noted Brother Chadwick in the study summary. "Parents often lie awake at night worrying about their children and wondering what they can do to help a son or daughter who may be yielding to temptation.
"The youth, likewise, feel enormous pressures trying to live the gospel, but at the same time, want to be accepted by friends.
"We discovered," continued Brother Chadwick, "that faith and family can indeed insulate young people from worldly ways."
An important implication to emerge from this study was that parents have a significant, although indirect, influence upon teens. "Parents can teach friendship skills to their teens so they in turn can have more choice of friends," Brother Chadwick said.
"Parents can encourage teens to participate in worthwhile school, Church and community activities. Such activities will provide good associations and will also keep teens busy in wholesome activities.
"And parents can help the friends of their teens feel welcome in their home. This will attract young people into the home and help parents develop a relationship with them as well."
Peer influence
"We knew peer pressure had a strong relationship to delinquency among LDS youth," said Brother Chadwick.
"We asked the young people, 'What's the most important thing that kept you from being a delinquent?' " he said.
" 'My friends,' " they responded.
"What's the most important influence that led you down that path to delinquency?"
" 'My friends,' " they said.
"It just simply depends on who those friends were. Good friends, no trouble. Bad friends, big trouble."
Private religious behavior
Perhaps the most important finding of the study showed that the private religious behavior, independent of peer influences, has a significant effect on the behavior of LDS youth.
"Religion ended up being quite a powerful inverse predictor," said Brother Chadwick. "The higher the rate of private religious behavior, the lower the rates of delinquency."
Private religious behaviors, such as personal prayer, personal scripture reading and fasting were even more influential in preventing delinquency than public religious behaviors, such as attendance at meetings.
"Public family religious practices, however, continue to be important because they lead youth to internalize gospel principles and reinforce private religious behavior," he continued.
Family characteristics
The BYU study also pointed out that as youth deal with the effects of peer pressure, they look to their family as the source that best strengthens and prepares them to meet the world and resist its temptations.
"Parents can teach their children by precept and example and strive to find ways for their children to experience the gospel for themselves.
"Generally speaking, those youth who avoided delinquency came from families where parents expressed appreciation and showed love; guided them through high expectations, family rules and accountability; and allowed teens to have their own thoughts and opinions without resorting to intimidation, fear, guilt trips or withholding love.
Three family characteristics were found to be significant in fostering moral strength: namely; Family relationships, or the emotional bond that develops through the giving of love and support by parents; establishing rules, or the rules and discipline established by parents for teens; and, personal expression, or the degree to which children come to know and express their feelings and opinions.
Family relationships
"Family connectedness requires time, especially one-on-one time," Brother Chadwick continued. "A hug, an arm around the shoulder, kind and loving words will help keep parents and teens connected. Raising teenagers is a time-intensive endeavor, and even though parents are busy, they should support their teens in school, Church and similar activities."
Some of the time together can be scheduled, such as family home evenings, but some time must also be given on the spur of the moment. Family traditions such as birthday celebrations, vacations and watching general conference create strong bonds between family members, Brother Chadwick said.
"Numerous young people in the study pled for their parents to be more liberal with praise and generous with forgiveness," said Brother Top. "The youth acknowledged their mistakes, but were disappointed that their parents directed most of their attention to such misdeeds and neglected their accomplishments."
Establishing rules
Most parents want to be friends with their teenage children, explained Brother Top. "Monitoring a teenager can be an arduous task and discipline is rather unpleasant and, thus, parents tend to neglect enforcing family rules. It is critical that teenagers learn their behavior has consequences.
"Family rules need to be established," he continued. "When teenagers violate parental trust, they need appropriate consequences followed by a show of love so as to maintain family connectedness."
Without specific discipline or expectations, continued Brother Top, youth fail to learn to positively control their behavior. They tend to act impulsively and are highly susceptible to peer influences.
"Clearly, choosing good friends and having good family relationships help counteract the often powerful peer pressures youth face," Brother Chadwick said.
"It is family life and gospel living, intimately intertwined, that most help teenagers become competent, spiritually strong and faithful members of the Church," said Brother Top.
Personal expression
It becomes important that parents allow teens freedom to express their own thoughts and ideas. Parents need to encourage their children to share their thoughts and feelings and to react to them with respect, Brother Chadwick continued.
Showing respect for differing opinions and helping youth explore new ideas and their consequences help build a sense of personal worth.
"When parents are not tolerant of views and opinions, youth don't learn to trust their own perceptions or feelings and may look to their peers for a sense of personal worth or withdraw inside themselves and develop emotional problems, such as depression," Brother Chadwick explained.
"Subtle guidance and gentle persuasion will generally help a young person develop opinions, ideas and attitudes consistent with gospel principles."
