PROVO, Utah — No work in this world is sweeter or more holy than parenting and no security should be greater than that which a child feels at home, said Patricia T. Holland April 3.
Offering the keynote address at BYU's sixth annual Family Expo, "Having Been Born of Goodly Parents," Sister Holland explained that talking about parenthood is one of the most sacred speaking assignments she could have.
"The challenge of parenting, of becoming goodly — Godlike — in our care and protection of His little ones, is surely among the highest and holiest of assignments," she added.
More than 700 Church members attended the two-day seminar in BYU's Conference Center, during which dozens of speakers addressed a variety of family-oriented topics.
Sister Holland, former counselor in the Young Women general presidency and the wife of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve, said loving and lasting relationships with children begin in the earliest years of their lives. "That is private, even sacred time with your children that will never come again. Being there and loving them is our specific assignment in those years when a mother is needed most, though it seems to me a mother is always needed."
Simply be there
"These are not grandma's years, or a day-care's years or years with any other caretaker, no matter how competent they may be. I believe with all of my heart that during those years your most important task is simply to be there."
Sister Holland acknowledged that she knows there are situations where there is almost literally no choice but for some mothers, especially single-parent mothers, to work. "But if this is the case then it is a parent's urgent responsibility to spend what time they can with their children and to find the most nurturing of caretakers possible for that period which has to be covered some other way. . . . Then as soon as the challenges of life allow and with all the urgency I can convey, bring your children home and be home with them."
Sister Holland said it is a parent's responsibility to build their child's self-esteem.
"No one knows your children like you do and no one loves him or her as much as you do. Each time you feed her when she's hungry, change her diaper when it's dirty, or hug her when she cries, you are telling your daughter that you care about her and love her, and she grows up with the idea that someone is on her side, someone is helping her be happy.
"Where you choose to spend your time tells your son he is your treasure, he has intrinsic value and that you are his very best friend in all the world. In such ways you impress upon your children that you will be there for them in this often selfish and sometimes hostile world."
Remarkable kind of love
This remarkable kind of love, she continued, reminds children of the relationship they had with parents in heaven.
"That early self-esteem can sustain a child all his or her life."
Sister Holland said that there is nothing in the world she loves more than being a wife and a mother.
"However, even with all the joy it brought, I learned that being an always present, always loving mother is the most demanding, fatiguing and draining obligation that was ever placed upon my shoulders. Mothering, I believe, requires engaging every muscle, every nerve, every fiber of our being and through it all we pray."
She stressed that parents need to use faith as they try to meet their children's needs. Latter-day Saints are all subject to self-doubt, worry, anxiety and fear, she added.
"We need to have faith. We are not our grades or our talents, our money, our jobs or even our Church callings. We are more than that. We are potential gods and goddesses and so are our children."
When parents get discouraged, Sister Holland said, they should remember that God's gifts come from a perfect parent; He loves His children and that love will never falter or fail.
"We learn again and again that this relationship between parent and child is welded and sealed with one quality — love. It alone is the path to everything else, including patience, forgiveness and restoring what might have been lost. When we are determined to love, then everyone within our sphere of influence has a chance to triumph."
