While serving as a bishop many years ago, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, now of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, accompanied his counselors in visiting those who were less active in the ward. One man, in his 50s, had stopped going to Church as a child when a teacher, angry that he was being noisy, pulled him from class and told him not to return.
He never did, Elder Wirthlin related Saturday afternoon.
"It was remarkable to me that an unkind word spoken more than four decades earlier could have had such a profound effect. But it had. And, as a consequence this man had never returned to Church. Neither had his wife or children.
The man, welcomed back to the Church, became an effective home teacher "because he understood how something as small as an unkind word could have consequences that extend throughout a lifetime and perhaps beyond."
"Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known," Elder Wirthlin said. "Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes. . . . Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at Church and especially in our homes.
"Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion," the apostle continued. "He healed the sick. He spent much of His life ministering to the one or many. . . . Yet His greatest act of kindness was found in His atoning sacrifice, thus freeing all from the effects of death, and all from the effects of sin, on conditions of repentance."
Speaking of kindness in the home, Elder Wirthlin said he learned this lesson from his father. "He always listened to my mother's advice. As a result, he was a better, wiser and kinder man. I have tried to follow my father's example and listen to my wife's point of view. . . . In truth, my wife is a model of kindness, gentleness and compassion. And her insight, counsel and support have been invaluable to me. Because of her I, too, am a wiser and kinder person.
"The things you say, the tone of your voice, the anger or calm of your words, these things are noticed by your children and by others. They see and learn from us both the kind, as well as the unkind, things we say or do. Nothing exposes our true selves more than how we treat one another in the home."
Continuing, Elder Wirthlin observed: "The Church is not a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, or have perfect thoughts and have perfect feelings. The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to provide encouragement, support and service to each other as we press on in our journey to return to our Heavenly Father.
"Each one of us will travel a different road during this life. Each progresses at a different rate. Temptations that trouble your brother may not challenge you at all. Strengths that you possess may seem impossible to another."
One way to measure value in the kingdom of God, Elder Wirthlin said, is to ask: "How well am I doing in helping others to reach their potential? Do I support others in the Church, or do I criticize them?"
He added: "If you are criticizing other members of the Church, you are weakening the Church. If you are building others, you are building the kingdom of God. As Heavenly Father is kind, we also should be kind to others."
