Dating can be complicated. Singles deal with the intricacies of getting to know and understand one another, coupled with a mix of technological, financial, societal, religious and media influences.
Active LDS singles are encouraged to work toward a temple marriage at the appropriate time in their lives by adhering to high moral standards. The journey from first date to temple marriage can be challenging and contain blessings, heartbreaks and pitfalls. Thousands of books and articles by LDS and secular authors have extolled wisdom and tips about dating. Advice about how to act, what to say, what to wear and what to do while dating has been covered in detail. Over the years, prophets and apostles have also given counsel to LDS singles about dating. This article is a culmination of their words. As a preface, a quote from a May 1989 Ensign article to young men and women by Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve (who is now president of that quorum) sums up the guiding counsel of Church leaders on dating: "You are a child of God. He is the father of your spirit. Spiritually you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it."
From data given by the Pew Forum in 2008, the three highest same-faith unions are Hindus (90 percent), Mormons (83 percent) and Catholics (78 percent). LDS singles often wonder about dating non-members or getting married before a young man serves a mission. Here is what Church leaders have said on both topics:
Three online dating sites surveyed more than 20,000 men interested in a long-term relationship with a woman. The top quality they wanted in a woman was kindness. A similar survey done by Men's Health magazine asked 1,000 American women, ages 21 to 54, to name the trait they found most attractive in a man. Their answer was "faithful to me." What behavior is appropriate for a date? What qualities are important in a potential spouse? Here are some quotes from Church leaders:
Heidi Banks, a well known dating adviser, said, "There is truly only one real danger that we must concern ourselves with and that is closing our hearts to the possibility that love exists." So is dating worth it? What constitutes a date? If someone asks you to lunch, is it a date? What about an invitation through Facebook or in a text? Can't dating just wait? Elder Dallin H. Oaks is clear in his counsel:
Dating can be complicated, but it need not be overwhelming. God's plan for His children is not the plan of frustration but the plan of happiness.
That plan includes dating and marriage to a person that should be a blessing in this life and eternity. Following the counsel of Church leaders, LDS singles date and marry with the knowledge that marriage relationships continue beyond this mortal sphere.
"That's the most important decision of your entire life! It isn't where you are going to school, or what lessons you are going to study, or what your major is, or how you are going to make your living. These, though important, are incidental and nothing compared with the important decision that you make when you ask someone to be your companion for eternity" — The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, Edward L. Kimball, ed. [1982], p. 301.
