MESA, ARIZ.
When Tamara Passey became a mother, one of the goals she had was to teach her children everything she knew. That mind set changed quickly when her first child, Steven, was born with a rare liver condition. The first eight months of his life were spent in and out of the hospital before it was determined he needed a liver transplant.
During those months, Sister Passey stayed at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City and her husband, also named Steven, commuted back and forth to school at BYU in Provo. After the transplant took place in San Francisco and the family returned home, Sister Passey continued to provide the care her son needed to recuperate properly.
Sister Passey realized her son would have to learn many things she had yet to learn herself, so instead of teaching him the things she knew, she wanted to teach him what he would need to know to work through his life's challenges.
"I think part of that is discovering his unique gifts and learning the things he would need to know to do the work he needs to do," she said. "That's kind of how I feel like my work is important as a mom — to help my children figure out who they are and know what they need to know to be prepared for the work that they will get to do in their lives."
A major part of that process for Sister Passey, now a member of the Superstition Point Ward in the Mesa Arizona Skyline Stake, is developing her own talents. A writer who enjoys the creative process, she strives to develop those skills in a variety of ways. She writes about the family for a website, composes poetry and is working on a novel. She is this year's Arizona Young Mother of the Year.
"I think it's really important for moms to know themselves as best as they can and know their own gifts and talents and know the things that they like and enjoy," she said. "By ... developing those gifts and talents, I think it makes them better moms because then they're in a position to help their own kids do the same thing."
From her husband's perspective, it's Sister Passey's faith that makes her an effective mother.
"I think she defines her life by the Lord's standard," he said. "She lives her faith ... that's the foundation upon which she moves forward and I think that's made all the difference."
After the couple's second child, Marissa, was born healthy, difficult times arose once again when their third child, Lauren, was born with a cleft lip and palate.
"You would never choose any of what they've gone through for them but, at the same time, I have really come to feel that it is such a privilege to be their mom," Sister Passey said. "If they need to go to the doctor a little bit more often than another child, then that's OK. I'm happy to take them. If they need extra care, then it's a privilege to be able to do that."
Brother Passey referred to these challenges as "refining experiences." For Sister Passey, the opportunity to be a mother in the first place is one she hopes will continue to mold her.
"We grow as our children do, a little over time each day," she said. "I hope that (motherhood) has changed me. I hope that I'm a different person. I hope that I'm a better person because I've been privileged to be with my kids every day."
