Sitting still was hard for Clint Pulver as a kid. Despite repeated reminders from classmates and teachers to stop tapping his feet and hands during class, Pulver’s attempts to stay still always fell short.
While most everyone saw his restlessness as a problem to be disciplined, one teacher saw it as potential.
One day, when Pulver was about 10 years old, his teacher, Mr. Jensen asked Pulver to stay after class. Pulver, assuming he was in trouble, dreaded the moment of sitting face to face with his teacher. But when the moment came, Mr. Jensen surprised him.
“You’re not in trouble,” Jensen told his young student. He then asked a question. “Have you ever thought about playing the drums?”
That moment, which was recreated in a video by Pulver — now a drummer by profession, is one he credits with shaping the course of his life.
“In that moment, I realized there’s a difference between being the best in the world, and being the best for the world,” Pulver says in the video.
Shared as part of a presentation during BYU Education Week on Thursday, Aug. 23, the video served as a reminder that weak things can become strong, and failures can be turned to successes.
Speaking specifically for young adults, and those wishing to help young adults, Robert Ferrell presented various courses throughout the week centering on a scriptural theme.
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
Failure is not a weakness, Ferrell explained. And as a periodontist and father of nine children, Ferrell said he has experienced his fair share of failures in life. But nearly every failure has led to something improved.
With some of the harsh realities facing young adults and youth today, a key issue he sees as a father and from working with young adults through his Church callings, Ferrell said a key problem is the “fear of failure.”
People tend to stand in their own way of progression because, too often, people are so afraid of failure, that they never even try, he explained. But failure, he said, is about a lot more than it seems.
Failure usually leads to one of two outcomes, Ferrell said. Either it leads to an increased connection through the struggle towards success, or it leads to a build up of contention due to comparison and self-criticism.
And when taking a gospel perspective into account, “failure is a measurement of growth,” Ferrell said. “Failure is how we experience the mercy of Jesus Christ.” And experiencing that failure is key to helping individuals connect with Christ and build their relationship with Him.
Failing might not feel like a step towards success, he said, but it’s better than never even trying, because nothing comes from not trying. And it is through an individual’s willingness to try, and possibly fail, that they can humble themselves before God.
Quoting George Q. Cannon from an 1891 article title “Remarks,” he said, “We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep His commandments.”
Sometimes, it takes the help of another, a mentor or a peer, to help point out when justifications and excuses have gotten in the way of progress.
In addition to a fear of failure, the world has made people constantly afraid of judgement from others, Ferrell said. Thus, rather than seeking the help they need, whether from God through prayer and study, or from mentors through friendships and personal connections, people are often stuck thinking things like, “but I don’t want others to know my problems” or “but I’ve already failed, it’s too late.”
While many Church members are afraid of seeking out mentors in their lives because they are afraid people will see and judge their problems, it is often those moments of humility, when they either seek or accept help, that will help provoke the changes necessary for progress.
Parents, Church leaders and most poignantly, peers, have great influence, Ferrell explained. They can help others build faith in Christ by example, counsel, and more often than not, by simply being there as a support through failures and times of difficulty.
Pointing to the often unrealistic expectations set by the world, Ferrell told a story of woman who was constantly looking to the next phase of life for her happiness. If she wasn’t happy as a single woman then maybe she would be happy in marriage. When she wasn’t happy in marriage, she thought maybe she’d be happy with children. After a divorce and a second marriage, the woman finally came to the conclusion that she needed to “choose to be happy in the hard.”
Life is going to be hard and repeated failures are inevitable, Ferrell explained.
Faith and the willingness to try again and again, are the things that will give the young adults of today the strength they need to stand against the changing cultural tides and experience the grace and mercy of Christ.
