In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, many who have gone before us have bequeathed a legacy of overcoming challenges. One such example is Stella Harris Oaks, mother of President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency.
Stella Oaks was widowed at age 36 with three small children, whom she raised to follow her life of faith and service. She is a voice of hope to other single mothers with children, especially in this time of distress.
Left devastated after the death of her husband, a young successful physician, Stella overcame disabling circumstances by faith in a loving Heavenly Father. She earned a master’s degree in education from Columbia University, became a gifted teacher, was elected to the Provo City Council, served for four years as assistant city mayor, and was a member of the Young Women’s General Board and a stake Relief Society president at BYU. Drawing strength from her Savior, Jesus Christ, Stella — ever the eternal optimist — used her faith grounded in the gospel to help others rise.
The Prophet Joseph Smith sums it up: “If you would elevate others, the work itself will elevate you.”
The Stella H. Oaks Foundation, named for this inspiring role model, is currently providing hope and scholarships to single mothers by paying tuition, book and fees. In addition, when necessary, it also helps with expenses that other scholarships do not, such as computers, printers and other supplies (scrubs and uniforms) that are expensive and critical for single mothers seeking to advance their educations.
As the coronavirus has intensified, some recipients of scholarships from the Stella Oaks Foundation found themselves in desperate trouble as the computers they had depended upon to complete assignments were no longer available as schools, work and libraries closed. For these women, thousands of dollars of charitable tuition and hundreds of hours of work and study were about to come to nothing.
As the foundation reached out to the community, friends, firms and businesses, those learning of these needs immediately and generously donated computers, monitors, keyboards and cables. Goodness just seemed to abound. Women and mothers rose to help other women and mothers in their time of adversity. An email campaign also helped gather needed funds.
An example of the challenges facing single mothers today is communicated by Cindy Cloninger, a computer and printer recipient and widow of a young physician — like Stella Oaks.
“I have been deeply touched,” Cindy wrote in a letter to the foundation, “and found so much hope and kinship with Stella and the story of her family. My husband was a doctor. He passed away in February of 2012 at just 43 years old. I found myself a widow at 36, with six children ranging in age from 7-15 years old. I have experienced and learned much in the 8 years that have passed. Three of these lessons have settled upon my heart of late: I have been uniquely prepared, uniquely stretched and uniquely taken care of.
“I have been humbled and relieved as I’ve begun this new journey to self improvement.”
Cloninger wrote that the scholarship alleviates “so much uncertainty and stress for me and my family.”
“The removal of the added financial burden and help with expenses means that I can dedicate more of my limited energy and mental stamina to my studies and to my children. This is balm to an anxious mother’s heart.”
Many of our single mothers are on their own with little or no support systems. Aware of this, others provided essential supplies outside the scope of the foundation’s educational help, giving groceries, toilet paper and paper towels. A local restaurant owner even provided hot meals and fresh produce and made home deliveries to the families.
With Mother’s Day approaching, these single mothers will also be treated to things of beauty and gift cards to lift their souls. With resources provided by many community partners, the foundation has assembled gift bags for its recipients.
In our time of grief, the pandemic has made many rise to the best within them. To quote Stella H. Oaks, “I find joy in service that transcends the previous understanding I had of what love means. The Prophet Joseph Smith sums it up: ‘If you would elevate others, the work itself will elevate you.’”
