After reading and gathering quotes from Church leaders about goal setting for a recent story, I felt motivated to set some New Year’s resolutions for myself.
If nothing else, it was a nice excuse to get a new journal. (There’s just something about those blank, white pages that makes me happy.) With a fine-tip pen, I began to scratch down a few things I’d like to improve this year. I prayed and pondered. Over the next few days, I added to and refined my list.
At one point, I felt a nudge to study President Russell M. Nelson’s talk about “spiritual momentum.”
“Great,” I thought. “I could definitely use some momentum going into this year.”
In his April 2022 general conference address, President Nelson suggested five specific ways to help maintain positive spiritual momentum.
- Get on the covenant path and stay there.
- Discover the joy of daily repentance.
- Learn about God and how He works.
- Seek and expect miracles.
- End conflict in your personal life.
That fifth suggestion — “end conflict in your personal life” — pricked my heart.
I don’t normally consider myself to be an angry person. I’m more prone to a “flight” response than a “fight” response, but recently some interactions with a loved one had left me feeling frustrated. And that frustration was beginning to morph into full-blown resentment. It was beginning to taint every interaction with this person.
Listening to the Prophet’s words, I knew I wanted to end this conflict. I realized that I did not like the person I was when I was resentful. As someone with a toothache or back pain or foot injury can tell you, it becomes that much more difficult to be patient or generous or cheerful with chronic pain always fraying the edges of your nerves. In a similar way, it was harder for me to be patient with my kids or to show compassion toward my spouse or want to be generous with my time when frustration was simmering in the background.
I also realized my anger was not going to change the other person or our relationship or help the situation in a positive way. “Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions,” President Nelson said in his April 2023 conference address.
But I also wasn’t sure how to change what I was feeling.
“Exercise the humility, courage and strength required both to forgive and to seek forgiveness. … If forgiveness presently seems impossible, plead for power through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to help you,” President Nelson said.
In his invitation last April to be peacemakers, President Nelson added: “The temple can help us in our quest. There we are endowed with God’s power, giving us the ability to overcome Satan, the instigator of all contention. Cast him out of your relationships! Note that we also rebuke the adversary every time we heal a misunderstanding or refuse to take offense. Instead, we can show the tender mercy that is characteristic of true disciples of Jesus Christ. Peacemakers thwart the adversary.”
So the next morning I got up early and attended the temple. I asked my Heavenly Father to please help me with my feelings. In my mind I heard the words, “Let it go.” And I did. Just like that. With the help of my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Since then I’ve been amazed at the relief I feel. It literally feels like I’ve put down a heavy burden. I feel lighter, happier and more peaceful.
In his invitation, President Nelson pointedly said, “I invite you to seek an end to a personal conflict that has weighed you down.” Conflict, anger and contention are a weight, a burden. It’s so much easier to move forward, to feel that momentum that President Nelson promised, when we get rid of the needless baggage — the “personal conflicts that are currently raging in your hearts and in your lives.”
To those hoping to find some spiritual momentum in the coming year, I share President Nelson’s promise: “As you act on these pursuits, I promise you the ability to move forward on the covenant path with increased momentum, despite whatever obstacles you face. And I promise you greater strength to resist temptation, more peace of mind, freedom from fear, and greater unity in your families.”
