PROVO, Utah — Kalani Sitake spoke in front of a packed Marriott Center on the Provo, Utah, campus of Brigham Young University on Tuesday, March 11, at a campus devotional, marking the first time a sitting head football coach spoke in a devotional since legendary LaVell Edwards in 1976.
When Edwards spoke at that time, he talked with students about having a game plan for life. On Tuesday, Sitake testified about what to do when that game plan doesn’t go the way an individual hopes it will go.
Sitake began by sharing some of his own experiences as a student at BYU 30 years ago, saying if he could go backward and tell his younger self anything, “it would be that God has a plan for you. It’s important to realize that there is a divine design for us.”
That realization for Sitake came after experiencing his own heartache and challenges in life. As a young boy born in Nuku‘alofa, Tonga, and raised in Laie, Hawaii, his parents separated and then divorced. He said that put his life in “complete disarray,” which resulted in living in multiple other states, apart from his siblings and with different family members in each location.
As a fourth grader, he and his siblings were again united with his father and lived in Orem, Utah. Sitake said he still felt broken at that time and longed for the life he had known before moving and before his parents’ divorce.
The BYU football team visited his elementary school following its 1984 national championship season. Football had been Sitake’s respite, and he was excited to see the players he had cheered on each week of the season.
His favorite player singled him out and talked to him, despite his shyness in the moment.
“Everything is going to be fine,” the player said to him. “I love you, and God loves you.”
Sitake said he had heard similar words many times before.
“But this was the first time I actually believed it,” he said.
That player was now-Elder Vaiangina Sikahema, a General Authority Seventy who played running back at BYU and later in the National Football League.
Sitake described the moment as “a major milestone.” He felt direction and a trust in God that he hadn’t felt before. He felt seen by Heavenly Father.
Sitake shared with BYU students a quote from President Russell M. Nelson, who said in the October 2013 general conference, “Your Heavenly Father has known you for a very long time. You, as His son or daughter, were chosen by Him to come to earth at this precise time, to be a leader in His great work on earth.”
Having a new focus on who he was as a child of God, Sitake worked hard and eventually earned a place on BYU’s football team, playing the same position and wearing the same number as Elder Sikahema had.
Following school, he signed a contract to play football for the Cincinnati Bengals professionally. But on his first day of practice, he received the news that his back was too badly damaged from previous injuries to allow him to play. His professional career ended before it could begin.
Crushed, Sitake said he felt betrayed by Heavenly Father.
But the same warm feeling that had helped him feel calm as a fourth grade student swept over him again as he heard the words in his mind, “Everything is going to be fine. I love you, and God loves you.”
Then Sitake described the unexpected joys of marriage, fatherhood, and being a son, brother, friend and coach.
“For me, this [was] definitely something better,” he said, comparing the life he had to the life he had envisioned for himself.
Sitake shared his own words of encouragement to today’s BYU students.
“You’re going to experience adversity and difficult times,” he said, adding, “If you’re struggling through school, awesome. Struggles in school means you’re learning new skills.”
He added that heartbreak, financial challenges and other experiences help individuals to find humility and turn to God.
“Good times are ahead,” he said. “Your highlights are coming.”
He said the Savior is the ultimate teacher and peacemaker and that He provided many lessons for individuals to learn from throughout His mortal ministry.
“It is in our most painful moments in life that we literally have Someone that knows exactly what we’re going through. We are connected to Him. And just like Him, we need to seek the design and trust God’s plan for us to overcome any adversity.”
