When her first grandchild was stillborn, Maria Jackson of Rochdale, England, did some deep soul searching.
One thing that helped her heal was the team of midwives at the North Manchester General Hospital — where her grandchild was delivered — who showed Jackson and her family compassion and support.
Jackson bonded with the midwives and wanted to return their kindness.
This led to her volunteer involvement in bereavement training for midwives, annual stillbirth memorial services and baby clothing donations to the hospital.
Her involvement with the hospital has evolved from a service opportunity into a conduit of healing.
“I always feel that when you do something good for someone else, it sometimes feels a bit selfish because it makes you feel good,” she admitted.
She added, “Healing definitely comes through being able to do something good.”
Paying kindness forward
Jackson has recruited the help of her Rochdale Ward and the Ashton England Stake to collect donations for the hospital.
She collects items like baby hats, onesies and pajamas for families to dress their stillborn babies in before burial.
She said receiving a baby hat and pajama set for her grandchild was meaningful when she was dealing with her loss, and it’s special to be able to provide those items for someone else.
“I’ll be honest,” she said, “it’s something for me, but it means I can help and do something positive for the hospital.”
One of the hospital’s midwives, Michelle Morgan, said these donations help the hospital cultivate a more personal, compassionate environment.
“It shows families that the hospital cares about more than just medical treatment, they also care about the baby’s comfort and family’s emotional well-being.”
Sharing and strengthening testimony
Speaking at the hospital’s annual stillbirth memorial has allowed Jackson to share her testimony of eternal families, as well as strengthen that testimony.
When she speaks, Jackson likes to share her belief that families can be together forever. Afterwards, many people tell her what a beautiful belief that is.
Jackson said many people in her community believe they’ll see loved ones after death, but not in a family unit.
“To think that the family can be connected and be together forever, that’s a lovely belief to have.”
Healing through history
Grieving her grandchild has connected Jackson to the Prophet Joseph Smith and his wife, Emma Smith.
As Jackson was working through questions about what would happen to her grandchild in the next life, Joseph and Emma’s experience resonated with her.
Joseph and Emma lost several babies of their own and likely had questions similar to Jackson’s.
In an Ensign article, Jackson read Joseph Smith’s teaching, “You will have the joy, the pleasure and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.”
After quoting that teaching, President Joseph F. Smith said, “There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death.”
Reading those words was comforting to Jackson.
She later had the chance to travel to Palmyra with her husband and see the grave of one of Joseph and Emma’s children. She said the experience was touching.
“I felt a real spiritual connection to Emma and Joseph, you know, even though I have no idea, I’ve never met them.”
Relying on Jesus Christ
Besides finding healing through service, Jackson has found healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
She said she has gone through her life as a member of the Church and has always known the Savior was there for her.
But during her most difficult trial, she said, the manifestations of His power have been undeniable.
“I definitely think the Savior reaches out more than anything in those times.”
For Jackson, knowing her grandchild is in the arms of the Savior has brought the most peace.
