Sister Kristen Oaks has always prided herself on her eyesight. But at a recent optometrist appointment, she continually “failed” the eye test — she couldn’t read the smallest line of text.
Sister Oaks recounted her “utter despair” at this perceived failure. She was surprised, then, when the optometrist told her she had 20/20 vision — the text she couldn’t read was the 20/15 line. Inadvertently, she’d held herself to a higher sight standard than necessary.
“Singles, you strive so diligently,” Sister Oaks said. “I believe you often see the 20/15 line in all you do and often don’t meet the high expectations you set for yourself. And no group needs to be more gentle with themselves. …
“Never punish yourself thinking that blessings may be escaping you because you’re not striving hard enough.”
Sister Oaks is the wife of President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She was also single for more than 30 adult years.
That’s why she felt so strongly about sharing her hard-earned wisdom with hundreds of young single adults during her closing keynote address for the 2025 Utah Area Young Single Adult “Together in Christ” Conference on Saturday, Aug. 30.
“You are especially precious to me because I’ve walked where you now walk, faced many of the challenges you now face, and I have enormous empathy and respect for you,” Sister Oaks said.
She added, “I want you to know your walk towards God is worth every single step.”
The Utah Area YSA Conference brought thousands of young single adult members of the Church from across Utah to Salt Lake City.
The three-day event, held Aug. 29-31, featured a devotional with President Jeffrey R. Holland, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles; keynote speakers including Presiding Bishop Gérald Caussé and Elder Brian K. Taylor, General Authority Seventy and Utah Area president; breakout sessions on topics like spiritual growth and Church history; and socializing activities such as dancing and karaoke.
Five truths
During her keynote address, Sister Oaks emphasized the importance of reading the Book of Mormon, of worshipping in the temple and of taking the sacrament.
She also shared five truths that she hopes will help young single adults.
- “You are a child of God.”
- “Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself.”
- “We need one another.”
- “Together in Christ under the power of the priesthood.”
- “We want to live together with Jesus Christ in the eternities.”
Regarding the first truth, “You are a child of God,” Sister Oaks said Heavenly Father delights in blessing those who keep His commandments. He does so in his own time and way, she said, and His answers to prayers “aren’t always the answers you see.”
About the second truth, “Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself,” Sister Oaks said that single Church members are so “incredibly wonderful” but sometimes forget their own worth, which can create the kind of discouragement that causes people to step away from the Church, she said.
“We do not abandon true principles while we’re waiting for our blessings,” she said, adding: “Don’t allow your wait for these blessings to burden you. I can speak from experience. I wasted many hours worrying.”
Instead, she said, create “delicious, beautiful, happy memories.” The greatest joys she found as a single woman were with people, she said, especially within her family relationships.
This brought her to the third truth: “We need one another.” Isolation is dangerous, Sister Oaks said, and God placed each person on earth to bless others. Single Church members are in a unique position to do so: “You have so much free time — time that a young family struggling with children doesn’t have.”
About the fourth truth, “Together in Christ under the power of the priesthood,” Sister Oaks recounted the strength she’s found in priesthood blessings. The words from one blessing, she said, have stayed with her to this day: “If you cannot bear the difficulties and challenges of single life, you will never be able to bear the challenges and difficulties of married life.”
Regarding the fifth truth, “We want to live together with Jesus Christ in the eternities,” Sister Oaks said that a single Church member’s purpose isn’t to simply build a fulfilling life. Rather, “your goal is to go forward and develop strong testimonies and nurturing and caring hearts that will prepare you for your role as a parent in the eternities.”
Sister Oaks said that as individuals draw closer to Jesus Christ, they’ll “ignite the fire” of enthusiasm and joy within themselves.
“In the precious hours and weeks ahead, make your life glorious and meaningful and divine by aligning it next to our Savior, Jesus Christ,” she said.
