One of my assignments is to provide instruction to newly called stake Young Men leaders. Most of my instruction is done via Zoom and with members in Brazil. After a lengthy and detailed PowerPoint presentation on the youth program, I end each session with the following personal story:
Years ago, when I was a bishop, I was taught a great lesson by the Young Women president in my ward. This dedicated and devoted sister was a successful business executive and traveled a lot. I knew she was busy, and I knew that this calling would be a challenge for her, but I really felt like the Lord wanted her involved in the lives of the young women, so I extended the call.
My oldest daughter was in the Young Women program at the time, so I felt strongly that some things needed to be done better than they had in the past. I made several specific suggestions of things I wanted the new Young Women president to do in her calling. She listened patiently and then responded: “Bishop, these are good things to do, and I will do my best to implement them. However, I think the most important thing I can do is to love the young women.”
Over the next few years, some of the things I suggested got implemented. Others did not. But four years later, I truly found out just how right she had been. My daughter was preparing to get sealed to her fiancé in the temple. Both families are large, and the sealing room was small. Once we made the list of people who needed to attend, my daughter could invite only one additional person. She invited her former Young Women president, Carla Coonradt. I asked her why, of all of her friends and former leaders, had she chosen to invite Sister Coonradt.
“Because I always felt safe with her,” my daughter said. “I knew she loved me.”
After sharing this experience at the end of my instruction, I always ask the participants what they have learned throughout the evening. They list the important things that were covered, and then invariably one of the brothers will say, “These are good things to do, but I think the most important thing I can do is find a way to love the young men.”
When someone says that, I know they have learned the most important thing. As we strive to love the young men one by one and show that love with our words and deeds, we are truly following the Savior’s example.
— Brother Paul M. Harman is a member of the Young Men general advisory council.
