“Are there no standards for youth in the Church now?”
This is a question I have heard multiple times since “For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices” was revised and released in October 2022.
For those who (like me) grew up with more prescriptive lists of do’s and don’ts, it might feel like the new guide doesn’t provide specific standards. But we live in a time like King Benjamin described. He said, “I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them” (Mosiah 4:29). What we need today are principle-based standards that can be applied across the varied circumstances of our lives.
When the revised version of the ‘For the Strength of Youth’ guide was first introduced, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke about the changes. He told us what the guide does — teach “values, principles and doctrine instead of every specific behavior” — and what it does not do — “give you a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ about every choice you might ever face.”
Personally, I love studying the new FSY guide. Each section teaches a core doctrine by sharing:
- Eternal truths
- Invitations
- Promised Blessings
Each section gives a set of questions and answers to show how the principle is relevant to current life choices. It also explains which temple recommend questions are related to living the doctrine.
I have found the questions and answers generate great conversations with my children. They make the doctrines come alive. After we read “Jesus Christ will help you,” we discussed this prompt: “I’m trying to repent, but I keep making the same mistakes. What should I do now?” We realized we have all had this question. Then we talked about how the Savior’s Atonement gives us hope for lasting change.
Our youth may need parents and leaders to help them understand how the doctrines lead them to live by standards. I love the story of Philip in Acts 8. Philip finds a eunuch reading from Isaiah and asks if he understands. The honest eunuch admits he cannot understand and says, “How can I, except some man should guide me?” (Acts 8:31). Most youth need someone to guide them, both to understand the doctrine and to see how it applies to their day-to-day decisions.
Parents and leaders are best positioned to be the guides. Ward leaders can help youth practice applying doctrine to choices. One ward taught the youth to love their neighbors, regardless of differences. Then they practiced saying kind words “behind each other’s backs” by writing sincere compliments on paper taped to each person’s back.
Parents are important guides because they are often present at the decision points when youth are applying the standards to their personal circumstances. I once overheard my friend and her daughter trying on clothes in a dressing room. It was clear from their conversation they had already made decisions about their standards for clothes. Then, in the dressing room together, they decided what they would and wouldn’t buy based on those standards.
This approach to defining the standards in our lives might be harder than a list of do’s and don’ts, but it will prepare youth to use gospel knowledge to inform every decision they make. As parents and leaders, let’s not be silent observers as our youth define the standards they will live by. Let’s guide them to live with standards informed by a deep understanding of the doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
— Sister Barbara (Bobbie) Sandberg is a member of the Young Women general advisory council.
