Why did the Lord give clear instructions to the brother of Jared for building a vessel in which to cross the ocean, yet nothing about lighting the vessel during the journey?
Instead, the Lord asked, “What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?” (Ether 2:23).
Perhaps the Lord cared about the brother of Jared’s learning and growing as well as getting the people to their future home.
One of the best ways to prepare youth to be tomorrow’s leaders is to help them be today’s leaders.
In a 2020 leadership training video, Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “Adults, from a very well-intentioned motive and the sincerest of purposes, typically get in, take over, and do not let the young people do anything. ... [Adults] run the program so the program will be effective, ... [but] I think we ought to have more programs running less well with people learning more. ... It really becomes a matter of inviting the young people to act.”
Elder Bednar is not saying that young people do not need any direction, but once it is given, adults must get out of the way. Young people will make some mistakes, but, as Elder Bednar assured, “that is part of the learning.” His final powerful point was this — “Someone took a chance on you ... and me. I just invite you to give that same chance to the youth. Invite the young people to act.”
While I was visiting a ward youth council in the Black Mountain Ward of the Penasquitos California Stake in San Diego, I saw adult leaders doing this so well. I took note that the adults asked good questions and gave good counsel, but it was the youth who made the final decisions. It takes great wisdom and discipline as an adult leader to offer options for the youth to choose from rather than control the outcome. The leaders I observed remembered that the youth had been called and set apart. They could receive revelation for their stewardships.
The experience reminded me of a study by professors at Harvard University who reported: “All youth need to develop a set of core life skills to manage school, work, outside interests and social relationships successfully. From the perspective of brain development, these skills include planning, focus, self-control, awareness and flexibility — also known as ‘executive function’ and ‘self-regulation’ skills. No one is born with these skills, but everyone can learn them through practice.”
Adult leaders in the Church can help youth practice these skills. As youth are learning through their experiences to lead, avoid using phrases like, “See, you should have listened to me in the first place” or “I told you so.”
Instead say, “What can we learn from this?” or “I’m glad we tried something different. Now, what went well and what do we need to change in the future?”
In just a few years, our wonderful youth will be district leaders and trainers in their missions. Down the road, they will be leading families, branches and wards. They will be better prepared and qualified for these future leadership roles as they are engaged in leadership experiences right now. Now is their time.
Young people learn to ride a bike by riding a bike, but that doesn’t mean the adults sit by and let them crash. We run alongside steadying the bike as they gain confidence. Would it be easier to ride the bike ourselves? Sure, but they would never learn. Let’s take our place as part of their support team.
— Mark J. Weist is a member of the Young Men general advisory council.
