Editor’s note: In March 2026, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released 10 brief discussion videos in Gospel Library for women, featuring the 10 members of the Relief Society general advisory council.
The council members wrote about the videos’ five topics for the Church News. This is the fifth of five articles and is about the topic “Discovering the divine design in my family.” Read part 1 about “Finding strength and relief in Jesus Christ” here, part 2 about “Managing competing priorities” here, part 3 about “Building emotional resilience” here and part 4 about “Staying committed when facing offense, hurt or trials” here.
In general conference last October, President Dallin H. Oaks reminded us that the design of the family is eternal. He taught that “our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan of our Heavenly Father for the benefit of His spirit children. We can truly say that the gospel plan was first taught to us in the council of an eternal family, it is implemented through our mortal families, and it’s intended destiny is to exalt the children of God in eternal families.” What a gift it is to be reminded that the family is not a temporary arrangement, but a divine and eternal design.
Our mortal families are patterned after God’s eternal family. Understanding this helps us better see the purpose of family life — not just to live together but to learn, grow, sacrifice and love as He does. Our Heavenly Father gave His Son so that all of His children could return to live with Him again, and the family is central to that plan. Through families, we learn about God’s love, His patience and His perfect timing.
This doctrine has deeply personal meaning, no matter what our families look like. For me, Andrea, my family currently consists of just two. After losing my husband to cancer when our son was still a baby, life did not unfold the way I once imagined. There have been missing pieces, unanswered questions and moments of deep grief. Yet those very gaps have required a greater reliance on divine help, service and the love and Christ-like service of extended family. I have felt sustained by a Father in Heaven who is profoundly aware of families that look different than the ideal and who provides strength, comfort and hope beyond what we can provide for ourselves.
And for me, Sandy, my experience is different, but the reliance is the same. Living abroad, far from extended family and familiar surroundings, required my family to depend heavily on the Lord and on the love and service of our church family. Distance strengthened faith, deepened relationships and reinforced the truth that belonging is not limited by geography. God provides connection wherever His children seek Him.
Connection and belonging come through covenants. As we enter into covenant relationships with a loving God, we are bound more closely to Him and to one another. These covenants strengthen our earthly relationships and anchor us during times of uncertainty. Families are designed to help all members understand God’s plan and His love for them, even when circumstances are difficult or imperfect.
In his same talk, President Oaks shared stories about how his own family didn’t match the ideal, and he shared some lessons he learned from his mother. He said “every single mother can teach of the love of a Heavenly Father and the eventual blessings of a temple marriage.
“You too can do this. Heavenly Father’s plan assures this possibility for everyone. We are all grateful for temple marriage and for the prospective blessings of being sealed as an eternal family. Like my mother, we love to quote Lehi’s promise to his son Jacob that God ‘shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain’ (2 Nephi 2:2). That applies to every Latter-day Saint family, complete or currently incomplete. We are a family church.”
The family is where we learn some of life’s most important lessons: faith, trust, love, forgiveness and patience with God’s timing. As we model our lives after the teachings and self-sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we are blessed, even when life does not follow our expected path. He will help us love our family members like He does. He will help us learn to care and forgive like he does. He will help us live with an eternal perspective and will help us desire to repent when we are the ones in the wrong.
It is vital that we do not lose our understanding of the purpose of marriage and the value of children, and that we gently help those we love recognize these eternal blessings through example and testimony.
Because of Jesus Christ, we can find joy in God’s plan, even when our family looks different than the ideal. Everyone belongs to a family — as a parent, child, sibling or extended relative. Most importantly, each of us is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny. That truth unites us all and testifies of the divine design of the family.
— Sister Andrea McConkie and Sister Sandra Springer are members of the Relief Society general advisory council.
