Sister Kristen M. Oaks is the wife of President Dallin H. Oaks, recently set-apart President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her life has been a record of shifting roles and accepted opportunities to serve as a wife, member of the Church and daughter of God.
She joins this episode of the Church News podcast to speak again with guest host Sheri Dew, executive vice president of the Deseret Management Corp. and a former member of the Relief Society general presidency.
Sister Oaks gives some of her insights into President Oaks; the mantle of prophet; his role as a husband, father and friend; their ministering assignments around the world; and her testimony of the temple and of the Savior, Jesus Christ.
Transcript:
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I think what I’ve learned from my husband — and my husband and I were talking about this — this is a church of joy. This is such a joyous time. And I also believe, I’d say, “Get involved in the Church, and then all good things will come to you that you want.” But this world is so desperate for truth and for goodness, for honesty. It is such a happy time, and the gospel is so — to be involved in it, who could ask for more ever? And I would just tell people that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God and translated the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, that we have the priesthood, and there is a living prophet on the earth, and, Sheri, there will always be a living prophet on the earth.
0:58
Mary Richards: This is Mary Richards, reporter at the Church News. Welcome to the Church News podcast. Today, we are taking you on a journey of connection as we discuss news and events of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks is the wife of President Dallin H. Oaks, who became the 18th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Oct. 14, 2025.
Sister Oaks joins this episode of the Church News podcast to give some of her insights into President Oaks; the mantle of prophet; his role as a husband, father and friend; their ministering assignments around the world and dropping by wards unannounced; and her testimony of the temple and of the Savior, Jesus Christ.
She is interviewed by guest host Sister Sheri Dew, executive vice president of the Deseret Management Corp. and a former member of the Relief Society general presidency.
1:58
Sheri Dew: Well, Sister Oaks, we are thrilled to have a few minutes to talk to you today. You’ve had quite a month. The last month has been filled with a wide range of experiences. So, let’s just start with the last month. You have known for a long time that it was a possibility that your husband would become President of the Church. And yet, it must be something of a shock when it actually happens.
And I’m wondering if you could just tell us what it felt like when you and President Oaks received the word that President Russell M. Nelson had slipped through the veil.
2:42
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Well, first of all, I never thought my husband would be the Prophet. We were very, very close to Elder [James E.] Faust and Sister [Ruth] Faust, and I was very comfortable, and my husband was very comfortable. Elder [D. Todd] Christofferson said my husband is a great follower and a great leader. So we just never thought about the future.
And so, when the Prophet did pass away, my husband and I had very different reactions, and that’s what was so interesting. He’d been such a devout counselor. In fact, Elder [Jeffrey R.] Holland told me that he’d never seen anyone that was so loyal or so supportive, and he just loved the Prophet. But he hadn’t felt the weight of the responsibility — and it is real, it is tangible, and I saw it fall on him, but I had a different reaction.
3:36
Sheri Dew: Tell us.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I was sorry for his passing, but in my heart, I just felt this joy for him. He led this magnificent life, and he made it, and it is wonderful, and we should all aspire to that. I said, “He’s OK, honey, he’s fine.” And he still carries that weight. He sees all the things that he should do.
4:02
Sheri Dew: And he sees — well, it’s just different, carrying the mantle, when the mantle falls. And what you’ve just described to us, to me, is beautiful, because it says “in the moment.” In the moment that President Nelson died, the mantle shifted. So for me, what that says is: We are never without a prophet ever. Isn’t that amazing?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: He has to be officially ordained; I want to make that. But the power of the priesthood and the prophet and the keys are always here on the earth, and no one ever needs to fear.
Sheri Dew: They’re always here. I love to think of it and say: There’s always a senior apostle. There’s always a senior apostle. What an incredible comfort that should be for every one of us.
4:48
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: And I — if I could say one thing — that’s one lesson my husband wants everyone on this earth to know: Never fear. Well, I think if that’s one lesson my husband taught, I don’t know if people picked up on it, but when he was talking about the apostolic interregnum, he wanted people to know that there will always be a prophet — President Nelson was so beloved and so charismatic and so warm — but we are never without a prophet. And there are points when the Twelve will be serving in that — I don’t know what you call it — authority position, but we’ll always have a prophet. And that’s what my husband wants everyone to know, that we are never without Heavenly Father’s guidance.
5:30
Sheri Dew: I have to just say, too, I want to just follow up on what you said a moment ago. I’ve — I don’t think I’ve ever seen a counselor show such tremendous loyalty and support of the President of the Church. And everyone knows how great a leader President Oaks is. His first year at BYU as the president was my freshman year, so he’s always been President Oaks to me, and we saw then what a dynamic leader he is. So to be able to be the leader — or the counselor, whatever the Lord has asked him — there’s an enormous lesson in that for every one of us. And you’ve lived that with him, right? You’ve watched that.
Anything you could teach the rest of us by what you’ve watched your husband do in that regard?
6:21
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Well, you saw the results of it. And I think with President [Henry B.] Eyring, they all loved each other, and you’ve seen what’s happened in the last seven years. It was magical because they loved and supported each other. I think what I’ve learned from my husband — and that was the shift for him — he worked so hard. When you’re supporting someone, it’s like holding up Moses’ arms.
You’re not the centerpiece. You’re the person to support, and you don’t try to be the centerpiece. And all of a sudden, the weight of other — he realized what President Nelson was carrying. It was transferred. And I think it was a bit startling, and I felt, actually, something fall on me, too. And I don’t want to call it a reverence, but a solemnity.
Sheri Dew: That’s a beautiful word.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: And I felt like I had to treat so many things so differently. I saw a lot of things differently, and that surprised me.
7:24
Sheri Dew: Well, that’s straight from heaven. That’s influenced straight through the whisperings and the presence of the Spirit. So let’s build on that. You’ve just described, in kind of a summary fashion, that there are major changes for your husband. It’s different to sit in the center chair. It just is. But there are changes for you, too, and some of those changes require sacrifice on your part. But some of those changes open up opportunities that are maybe a little different than before.
What are you looking forward to in the next coming months and years?
8:03
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Well, growing up to fill the position. That would be really something I’d strive for. I was an academic, but I have been a mother for like 20 years. I feel I kind of identify with Marjorie Hinckley, in the sense that I don’t see this really as a sacrifice; I see it as an honor, and it’s an opportunity. I think every single person in the Church takes on a role, when they take a calling, and then they see the beauty of it afterwards. But I went on a mission to Japan. I’ve never felt that I was sacrificing anything when I helped Heavenly Father. He gave me too much back.
8:48
Sheri Dew: Boy, isn’t that the truth? So again, let’s build on that. When you look back at different experiences you’ve had in your life — like going on a mission to Sendai, Japan, and other experiences — are there key moments you can now identify looking back that have helped prepare you for today?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Oh, multiple moments.
Sheri Dew: Mention a few of those.
9:13
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Even for my own personal safety in accidents or places where I was, I’ve been protected a lot. And looking back, I see that, and that’s surprising. And then I had opportunities professionally. I had to speak a lot. I had to talk a lot.
Sheri Dew: Probably to very diverse audiences, I would guess.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: It was worldwide. The other thing is having a family and taking over a family. That’s prepared me more than anything to learn about the needs of people in our Church. And I was a single person until I was 53, and my husband said that helps him so much to understand the needs of single people, because I talk about it. I think they’re valiant. I think they’re necessary. I think they’re just an important part of our Church.
10:01
Sheri Dew: You’ve been married to your husband for 25 years, which means you’ve been traveling the globe with him for 25 years. You’ve seen members of the Church in umpteen countries.
What do you think that has done to affect your perspective of the worldwide Church? Because you walked a lot of those halls and tromped through a lot of airports during 25 years.
10:26
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I think culturally, you see every nation has its strengths, and we’ve even discussed this, of the warmth of South America and their energy and their life. They like to eat late at night. They like to laugh. They like to love. I love Asia because of my mission. I see the reticence and the reserve and the strength and the beauty, and I love that dignity. It is dignity and respect, and they honor that. The gospel just enhances everyone’s life that it touches. And we’ve made friends with different families and kept in touch. Before I married, I traveled. So when I did travel with my husband, it just seemed like an extension of that.
11:08
Sheri Dew: So, all the travel in your professional life, those decades leading up to marriage, really, that was a great preparation, that you wouldn’t have understood or known about at the moment, but looking back, you say, “Oh, yeah, that was a great training ground.” There’s an interesting thing about becoming comfortable traveling internationally, and you were already comfortable with that when you married your husband.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Yeah, I did it alone, and I really prefer it with him. That’s one thing that changed.
11:36
Sheri Dew: Of course. Now, you had an amazing international experience in the Philippines that was more than just a trip and more than just a quick visit. You were there for two years. Your husband has been quoted as saying that — in fact, let me make sure I have this exactly right — that he learned more in that two-year period about Church leadership and governance than maybe any other two-year period.
What did you learn living, actually living, in the Philippines?
12:04
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: They are so endearing as a people, and family is so important to them. They taught me so many lessons about family, about unity, about service, and they’re happy. It’s a happy country, in spite of — they have so many difficulties. They have every type of weather, every type of disaster, and they’re so resilient. They are a service people. Traditionally, they go out and serve. And that was one thing my husband wanted them to discover, that they were leaders. And he spent a lot of time, and they stepped right up. So that was wonderful.
12:43
Sheri Dew: So, when you went back to dedicate the Philippines temple in — was it Urdaneta?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Uh-huh.
Sheri Dew: What was that like? Was it like a homecoming, or how did it feel, then, to go back and to see yet another temple be dedicated in that island nation?
12:57
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: It was a miracle. When we were in the Philippines, there was one temple.
Sheri Dew: Manila.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Yes. And then they dedicated one in Cebu that we went back for. But to see the devotion of the people and the love of the temple. And also, that temple is the most beautiful building in all the city, and people gravitate toward it, and they have an incredible mission president right now. It was sort of sweet to see all the effort that we put into it, especially my husband, just come to fruition. We have a great love of that nation.
13:31
Sheri Dew: Beautiful. I love what you said a moment ago, about learning some things about family there. In the times I’ve been in the Philippines, I have seen that in living color.
So, you married into an already formed, existing family, an active family, a growing family. What have you learned in that experience? And I’m thinking now about others who marry into a family. There are always adjustments. What would you teach them? What did you learn, and what would you teach them?
14:07
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Well, the first thing, my mother had a stepmother, and it was an interesting situation. So I came into a marriage knowing that I really wanted to respect their mother. I wanted to talk to her and talk to them about her all the time, because they’re genetically hers, and to honor her. That drew us closer. And then my husband is so respectful of his children, and we have a spectrum — different abilities, different personalities — and to build them and let them be who they are.
And also, stepmothers don’t have a lot of opinions. It’s better not to have. I’m a great grandma — I mean, I’m good being a grandma — but just allowing them to always be themselves and always to talk about their mother and to honor her. And she’s part of our family. Her pictures are there, her memory’s there, and she should be there.
15:01
Sheri Dew: Of course she should. Anything else? What was it like, at 53 years old, you now have a growing posterity, which has grown dramatically in the last 25 years. So talk about the grandchildren.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Well, Sheri, I’m like you. I spent so much time — I took my nieces and nephews, I had a slumber party every weekend. I took them on trips. I took them everywhere with me. We went to car washes, we went to fairs, we went to movies. We celebrated all the holidays. So I just — when I had more family to deal with, it just was wonderful. It wasn’t a hard thing at all. Except the cooking. I am still struggling, because when I’m cooking for 40 people, you just can’t do macaroni and cheese every time. It doesn’t work.
15:52
Sheri Dew: I’ve had the privilege of knowing you for many years, and one of the things I have experienced myself is your deeply compassionate heart. You’ve reached out to me countless times with just a text here and a text there that just shows your compassion and that you thought of me to send me a note.
Tell us about that, meaning: Do you think you’ve always had a compassionate heart, a giving heart, or are there different things that have helped you develop it? Like, if someone’s listening to this and they think, “I wish I had that. I don’t think I do.” What would you tell them?
16:38
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I don’t know if I exactly had that as a child, but the older you get — and I’ve also, you’ve always been so endearing to me. But if I have an impression about someone, I just try to reach out at that moment. And that’s — I do it a lot with a lot of people. And I don’t know if it’s Heavenly Father talking to me or just how I miss them, but I feel that I need to contact people at certain times and be there for them.
Sheri Dew: Have you always done that? Did it start as a teenager, or is that more of a mature, cultivated talent?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I’d say in the last 40 years. See, I’m 78, so I was old when I started, but I’ve felt that. And I’ve always — listen, I was in special education, so I think I do have a desire to help people that might need help, that have some things they have to overcome. That was important to me. And I’m a reading specialist, and if you don’t know how to read, the world is closed down to you. And so I’ve always felt a lot of empathy and love doing that.
17:49
Sheri Dew: OK, let’s talk for a minute about your dear husband, President Dallin H. Oaks. Now, I’m going to ask you a question that’s completely unfair.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: OK. I won’t answer it.
Sheri Dew: Here’s the unfair question: If you had three words to describe him — which is the unfair part, because it probably is dozens and dozens of words — but if you had to pick three that you think define your husband, what would they be?
18:16
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: The first one, “wise.” He is so wise. He’s careful about what he says, what he doesn’t say. He’s wise. It’s a gift, and he sees danger from afar. That he’s “kind,” very kind. He has to be to put up with me. And he’s like the Energizer Bunny, and I see it in his children. They have enormous energy, and they like to produce, but he’s very devoted to me. He’s really “patient,” and he’s “devoted,” especially to his family and to people that he loves.
18:59
Sheri Dew: One of the things — I love these words, and every one that you’ve said, I’ve thought, “Oh, yeah, I can see that. I can see that.” One of the things that is interesting to me about President Oaks — again, I say to you, he’s been my president since 1971, and even then as a young university president, and he was young, I think 38.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: He barely turned 38, yeah.
19:21
Sheri Dew: So here he is, this young university president, and he always projected wisdom, for sure. And when he’s at the pulpit, he’s just telling you point by point, and you can follow it, and it’s important. But one of the things that I’ve always thought you can’t always see at the pulpit is this incredible sense of humor and warmth. You look at his pictures when he’s — and he has this incredible warmth in his smile. And I have had the privilege of being around him enough to have experienced a fabulous sense of humor.
Can you shed some light on that aspect of him?
19:59
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: When you said that, Emma Lou Thayne said she loved to hear him laugh, because it was right from his belly. He would just laugh. When we get together as a family, it’s mostly when I was — he’s just very quick. He’s very funny. And could I say anything specific, no, but he loves to laugh, and he loves — if we think something is funny, he joins right in. He’s a happy person. He was in New Zealand giving a talk at the very beginning of being an apostle, and he got up — and he’s very entertaining — my husband, when he sat down, after everyone was laughing hysterically, the Spirit said, “Never do that again.” And so you see my husband, he is so serious and so directed, but he feels like he was given that instruction.
20:51
Sheri Dew: It has also enabled him to discuss some of the most critical topics, some of the most complicated topics, in the last 20 years. Some of the pivotal, classic addresses in our culture are ones he has given. I’ve been listening to talks by President Dallin H. Oaks every morning now for weeks and weeks and weeks, and I’ve been reminded about how powerful his sermons have been.
So, do you think it tracked back to that moment when he had a learning, an important learning?
21:27
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: And also, he has such a respect for the law and such a respect for the doctrine. And he doesn’t say anything that is not correct, and he goes back, and he combs through it again, and he wants to say it right. And he’s a great protector of the Church. I don’t know if I see him as that, and I know I didn’t use the word “integrity,” but he has great integrity, but he has warmth. He always sticks to the law. He’s told me often, “Never be judgmental,” and he is not judgmental.
And that is — if you were coming to someone and you wanted someone to advise you or help you, I’d go to him always, because when he gives his talks, you know exactly where he stands, but when you’re with him in private, he would be so compassionate and so caring. He’s a very special man.
22:26
Sheri Dew: This conversation is about you. It’s certainly not about me. But I think I would like to just put a fine point on what you just said by just saying this.
When I was a new member of the Relief Society general presidency, then-Elder Oaks was the chair of the Priesthood Executive Committee, and all of the organizations reported up to him. And a difficult thing happened in my professional life, and I felt like I needed to tell Elder Oaks and receive His counsel. And I remember walking over to his office being nervous about needing to talk about this sensitive topic.
His kindness to me was astonishing, and then his counsel, I’ve never forgotten it. I could probably repeat it word for word. I walked out feeling — I felt like I had been lifted 20 feet high. So it was the combination of kindness and wisdom, and I left knowing what to do. I left knowing what to do.
So I can only imagine the countless times he has demonstrated that combination of, really, spiritual gifts, when you think about it, that have blessed the Church, and you’ve just pointed us to that.
23:45
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: He’s been very specific about doctrine, and I think if people really spent time with him, they would be amazed. They would befriend him, and they would run to him for help.
Sheri Dew: So, let’s now add to that. If you could sit with any member of the Church — or every member of the Church, if it were possible — and say, “Here’s what I want you to know about President Dallin H. Oaks,” what would you say to them? You’ve told us some qualities which are powerful. What would you want them to know?
24:20
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: That he always tries to do what’s right. He doesn’t ever cut a corner, and I don’t know, he doesn’t take perks. He’s really judicious, he thinks through it, and he really loves people. And he acts — he never says anything that he doesn’t think Heavenly Father has inspired him to say. He’s very, very careful, and I think that’s why he was such a good counselor to President Nelson, because he saw all the wonderful things he did, and he was totally supportive.
24:54
Sheri Dew: Boy, he sure was, in a remarkable way. How do you think you are different because you’ve been married to President Oaks for 25 years? And how do you think he’s different because he’s been married to you?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I don’t know if I should speak for him. Oh, thank you. I’m — just because of service in the Church, there’s some expectations, and I’m just so thankful for that. I’ve changed a lot, and the words be on time, be prepared, do those kind of really rudimentary things. I’m different because I think I’m a lot more accepting. I think I have a broader vision, a lot broader vision. I think I’ve known more joy and more happiness, and probably, maybe sadness, too. That’s part of the whole thing. How’s he different?
25:57
Sheri Dew: Or maybe, let me phrase the question differently. How have you tried to help him?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: I always try to help him to have more chirp, because he gets so focused. He is laser-focused, and I go, “We can unfocus.” And I don’t want to show him too much levity, but I think I’m there to keep him happy. I’m there to show him, share things from the grandchildren. I try to share happy things, things that would bring joy to him, and try to involve him. If something’s going on with our family, make time for it. He loves to be with his family. I just have to remind him he needs to take the time to do it. So I can arrange that.
26:43
Sheri Dew: Absolutely. You can be the engineer of that, right? And isn’t that often the role of a mother and grandmother anyway? That shouldn’t be a surprise. I think often the woman is the one to say, “OK, family time is really important.”
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: “We’ll do this.” But his children love him. And one thing he’s taught me, he does not insert himself into people’s lives unless they ask. He respects who they are. He’s a good man.
27:12
Sheri Dew: So, this word “respect” keeps surfacing over and over and over again. Any thought about where that comes from with him? Deep respect for others, not judging others. What do you think that comes from in him?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Probably a lot from his mother, and probably a lot from his love of the Lord and the apostolic calling. It’s very heart-changing. You become, you think more kindly of people, you have more compassion, your heart opens. It just works. It’s part of the story.
27:46
Sheri Dew: It is. There are now, even more than before, millions of people praying for President and Sister Oaks. I heard it just the other day in the temple, praying specifically by name.
How does that feel, to know that kind of support, that kind of love and that kind of petitioning of the heavens in your behalf and in behalf of your dear husband?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Overwhelming. Yeah, I don’t think it’s anything you can get used to, but just thankfulness. Sheri, I just feel like we’re just so blessed, which is a calm feeling, it’s a sweet feeling. And I’d say it’s not how I feel, but I feel more love for the members of the Church and so much respect. Every weekend, my husband goes to a different ward. And I have seen teaching that’s phenomenal and youth that are brilliant and verbal and committed, bishops that are — we go every week. We kind of, I think we show up, and they think something terrible has happened, but he just wants to see the real Church. And that has taught me. It’s so humbling if I could ever be worthy to be involved with them. They’re incredible.
29:12
Sheri Dew: Through a complete fluke of scheduling, I happened to find myself in a ward a couple of weeks ago — because I had a nephew blessing his baby — and you and your husband had been there the week before. So I was there on fast Sunday and heard testimony after testimony from members of the ward about this amazing experience they had had with both of you the previous week. The testimonies that touched me the most were from the teenagers who got up and talked about what it meant to have President Oaks be with them in their priests quorum and so forth.
What do you see in him, from that point of view, about his interactions with youth? Because these youth were over the moon because they had had this experience with President Oaks.
30:01
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: It’s kind of embarrassing, because I’m probably the only woman that goes into the youth priesthood quorum with my husband. I see them be so responsive. They are so responsible. They are so on it. The things they aspire to, the way they understand the gospel, the world is good. We are so blessed.
30:26
Sheri Dew: And you’re seeing it week after week.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Week after week.
Sheri Dew: With real people in real wards.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: And with incredible teachers. And in the Primary, you go in, and they’re singing their hearts out, and it always makes me cry, and they have those great songs. It’s just — this Church is amazing.
30:42
Sheri Dew: It is amazing. Just a couple more questions as we wind up. I know that you’ve loved the temple for years and years. Talk about the impact and the influence of the temple in your life, maybe before you were married, and certainly since you were married.
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: Part of it I have to talk about because I was single. It was a place where I had the priesthood, and I’d recommend for single women especially to go often, because they can feel the power of that in their lives. I just would come home every weekend I traveled, and I’d come back, I would always go to the temple, because I needed the strength of it. I needed to be reminded of the covenants. I needed to be with people that believed what I believed. I love the temple, and if I want to know truth or I have a problem or I need to be comforted, I always go there, and I always come away feeling better. It’s the best medicine in the world.
31:40
Sheri Dew: I love that. Isn’t that the truth? Will you, just as we conclude, share anything else you would like to share? Are there any concluding things you would like to say?
Sister Kristen M. Oaks: That this — and my husband and I were talking about this — this is a church of joy. This is such a joyous time. And I also believe, I think, maybe 20 years ago, you preached, “Get married, get married, get married.” But I’d say, “Get involved in the Church, and then all good things will come to you that you want.” But this world is so desperate for truth and for goodness, for honesty. It is such a happy time, and the gospel is so — to be involved in it, who could ask for more ever?
And I would just tell people that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God and translated the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, that we have the priesthood, and there is a living prophet on the earth, and, Sheri, there will always be a living prophet on the earth.
32:46
Mary Richards: Thank you for listening to the Church News podcast. I’m Church News reporter Mary Richards. I hope you learned something today about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and had your faith in the Savior increase by looking through the Church News window as a living record of the Restoration. Please subscribe, rate and review this podcast so it can be accessible to more people. And if you enjoyed the messages we shared today, please share the podcast with others. Thanks to our guests; to my producer, KellieAnn Halvorsen; and to others who make this podcast possible. Join us every week for a new episode. Find us on your favorite podcasting channels or with other news and updates about the Church on TheChurchNews.com or on the Church News app.
